Thursday, August 19, 2010


Much like Alice in her fabled Wonderland, I am just a bit lost. Being lost has its benefits, including but not limited to, the ability to really take a nice long look at everything. You see, I recently came from a town called "Knowing Exactly Who I Am and Where I'm Going", only to end up in "What The Hell Am I Doing Here?" It was an uncomfortable ride for sure. No leg room and the attendants don't give you anything to eat. Plus the turbulence is a bitch. It's impossible to get used to the feeling of having the bottom drop out from under you. That's pretty much what happened to me once my vessel crashed and burned, leaving me stranded on an island and forcing me to not only deal with what happened, but to also take a good look around at my new environment.

I found myself in an exotic jungle surrounded by the strange and unusual; beautiful things that I never paid any attention to before because I was so busy running full speed down the carefully path I had laid out for myself. Now that I'm lost, I'm letting myself have a good chuckle at all of the many oddities that exist in this world. What's really funny is that now that I'm completely lost in the world, I feel more colorful and strange than ever. Now that I have nothing to really lose (because all of my "goals" crash-landed somewhere along with all of my hand painted luggage), I'm now much more willing to be whatever the hell it is that I am.

So now I'm trying the world on for size. It's a bit tight around the ass, but as I go on with my day, I notice that it loosens up just a little. There's a lot for me to be glad about, even if I no longer have much of an idea of what I'm doing anymore. I'm okay with that because I know that even with all of the threats hanging out in the depths of this strange new world, I will somehow make it to the other side of this deranged jungle.

No more instant travel for me, thanks. I think I'm just going to walk the rest of the way.


  1. You beautifully captured what I've been going through for the past year. (Recap: my husband lost his job last July, which led to us moving from upstate NY here to Fort Myers, and starting everything all over from scratch.)

    I can't wait to get to know you better, through your blog! :)

  2. Thank you so much. I pretty much assumed that I couldn't be the only person feeling this way. I'm just at the point that if I must be hopelessly (hopefully?) lost, I should at least take in the scenery.

  3. I have this sense from your writing, Kaleena, that I might run into you sometime along what I've been calling "the scenic route" of life.

    A beautiful post. xo, rupa

  4. I'll probably be eating a sandwich under a tree or drinking a mimosa by the shore.

    Thank you for the encouragement.